Those who go before us.

I wrote this yesterday

Mark Palmer died this morning, it seems surreal we hoped we prayed we fasted we hoped and prayed more It was not to be, I have questions that may never be answered in this earthly dwelling. I have come to terms with the fact that that is ok.

I only met Mark once I liked him right away from his intense passion for God and those he cared for at The Landing Place to his Celtic cross tattoo and the spiritual quest and revelation that went with it. I have followed his journey on his blog his wife Jennifer’s diagnosis with cancer his eternal perspectives and unending hope and faith for this world and the next.

When Jennifer died I asked why? I think she was only 26 her son Micah just a toddler we never met but I felt her passing as though I had experienced the death of a friend. I could not understand why someone so young with clearly so much to give would pass so quickly to leaving behind the two earthly loves of her life.

When I read that Amy and Mark were getting married I cried and thought this is how it should be a friend to both Jennifer and Mark who adored Micah. When the news came shortly there after of his diagnosis with cancer I cried out to God tiered of the sickness in a fallen world filled with disease chemicals and destruction. Tiered of watching the suffering and asked why again why Palmer, hasn’t this one so young endured enough?

Today I sit staring at this screen tears stuck in my throat that refuse to be forced out and free me from the binding. Like so many others including Palmer I held out hope for restoration through miracles of God and science.

I am grieving for sweet little Micah and Amy and the whole community I cannot imagine their pain of having to let go I see the strength and resilience of Amy and know that God gave her to Palmer and Micah as a gift ~ few are brave enough to endure so much with such faith grace and dignity.

I read this on a comment to Amy on Palmers blog a quote from a talk Palmer gave that impacted the life of one briefly yet eternally brushed by the presence of a humble traveler after Jenifer's passing

"I have questions. I want to know why. But, I know where to find the answers. I know who has the answers. So, if I know that why would I run away from Him? I want to be as close to Him as I can."

Palmer was so focused on good and hope and eternal perspectives his story of faith has touched my life like no other.

http://palmerlp.livejournal.com/