LIFELESS

Sinking lifeless to the bottom of the tank watching life crumble before me with no motivation to move or be moved, existing. Self pity my only friend as water pours from my eyes and my body aches from its violence.

So lurkers beware, vague, obscure, and hidden in despair unable to find the road to freedom, the secret language of my heart poured out in cyber hell. Naked and Blind I come clothed only in shame for now, so my mutterings may confuse you at best?

The Pharisaical rule disgusts hypocrisy at its finest, to love my Beloved in all His purity I find myself in a flock of vultures their mission of glamorous intent. Mere words fall meaningless to the pit, only to be devoured by the bottom feeders as they feast on their favorite meal.

I have never been glamorous; life of the pretty involves a status never held, to associate yourself with such without parade so empty a pursuit. Had I been born with more would the vultures stop circling and picking at my flesh and embrace me into the fold?

Admittedly Blue Like Jazz in natural elements of reality holds my heart tighter then Pharisaical lusts but the pain is still their... I hope to join Daniel for a time in a quest if I am strong enough. So far only weakness consumes me, supernatural strength will be my saving grace as I press in and press on in hope of freedom redemption or maybe just life?

Pursuits in the aquarium may continue if I can will myself, less vague and more detail of the latest may find way into my cyber cell, but as I said before it is not glamorous as previous entries will confirm. The darkest places of the soul are never pretty, but then I suppose I am grateful to have one....