Memoirs

In an attempt to redefine the way I look at my life and writing while at the same time pay heed to the chanting “writing your memoir will be good therapy, you have so much to say” blah blah blah (sorry love you guys – really :) I have been reading a lot of memoirs.

Most have been horrible involving painful determination to make it through to the end so I can hopefully get an idea of how this sort of thing is done and to clarify if I have a life story worthy of anyone’s time. So one minute I think sure why not write my own story it would be good even if I am never published then again I think most of the crap I have been reading is so boring I would not want someone saying “wow did you read her story, it was just awful why on earth would anyone want to read about her life yadda, yadda, yadda!” so since I find it hard to believe my life experiences would be desired knowledge the thought of following through with the suggestion remains daunting for now…..

I have read more then twenty memoirs over the last year (I so wish this was an exaggeration) finally I have found one that was really enjoyable and worth my time. Funny in Farsi has been added to my short list or worthy memoirs. I picked the book up at the library because I recognized Farsi as a Persian language and thought it might be interesting to read. Admittedly I would probably not have recognized the word Farsi had it not been for an old boy friend who is Iranian American (father Persian mother American) my curiosity fully peaked I dumped it into my book bag with about five others, three of which I read (now with regret) before cracking a page of this cute and quirky little book ~ it was a fun read I laughed a lot sometimes belly laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.

Interestingly enough the day after I picked up the book at the library my Iranian American friend called to catch up on life. We have a strange vibe kinda friendship if you ask me~ if I pray for him he calls, find a book about Iranians in America he calls ~ freaky huh. So anyway I told him of the book and now that I have read it I have visions of spamming him constantly with web links until he reads it ~ it is well worth the read, sadly I doubt he will be running to the local library or bookstore to pick it up.

I think the reason I enjoyed the book so much is that I understood some of the cultural stereotypes exaggerated in the humor of the book. Then there was the descriptions of food that made me want to hop in the car to my new favorite place to eat at the food court in the mall ~ the closest thing to authentic Persian food (run by Iranian’s) I am likely to find around here. Even though it is “fast food” it is really yummy they even added French fries to their menu to appeal to kids…. so sad, I prefer basmati rice with my kabob!

The book was fun because it was cute and sentimental but also because it evoked sweet memories for me, if I think back twenty years I can smell basmati rice steaming on the stove and remember the kitchen table covered in phyllo dough and the smell of baklava wafting through the house. Persian rugs layered everywhere with funky lamps, the decorations in the house comfy with an eclectic Middle Eastern flare. I wont even attempt to describe the sink stopper in the upstairs bathroom. Ok Ann, I can hear you laughing :)

I have seen my friends beautiful mother a couple times over the years she is sweet and thoughtful but I have not seen his father who rarely spoke to me and probably never looked me in the eyes. My memories of him are of him yelling for his son with his thick accent down the stars where we had sequestered ourselves away from adult supervision. When I walked upstairs to make my escape the TV would be blaring and he would peer up over the newspaper briefly watching me leave the house the only thing visible to me was a balding head with curly dark hair on the sides and two hairy arms holding up the newspaper. That’s the most I saw of him unless of course he was looking for his son all too happy to get him away from the Christian girlfriend. To this day I think he sighed with great relief each time I exited his home and moaned upon my return lol ~ which was quite often.

From what I do remember of my friend’s family they are very different then the family in the book, they are much more Americanized most likely because only one parent is from Iran I’m not sure if they would consider this a compliment I do hope it would not be insult. The likelihood of them discovering this blog is slim although I am pretty sure the old BF has a link which he probably never uses (sigh of relief) my memories of them are fond and I would not want to offend them. Anyway the book was fun and brought back many memories forgotten twenty years past and more recently the Persian cooking lessens (can I just say YUM) from my friends cousin when she was going to school here at Miami several years ago. The food the cultural personality quirks and thick accent long forgotten now fresh in my mind.

Firoozeh’s (the author) story was worth writing (and reading) and since we are the same age and have similar memories it was fun but I am still not sure if I have a story. Ok well I do have a story but it so damn pathetic and depressing I find it hard to imagine anyone even believes it is true ~ as I have stated before, it sounds like a horrible Lifetime movie.

Another old BF recently told me (yes I know I am strange they just keep calling and yes were all just friends and no I wont tell you how many call ~ it’s way too scary!) anyway he was explaining the mathematical and statistical improbability of the chaos in my families lives. Well, I had thought of this before but in a so not mathematical way. since I would rather be doing anything but thinking of math including ditch digging and toilet cleaning. being such a literary historian as the old BF is it surprised me that he came up with this highly mathematical thought as well.

So I will continue to ponder the possibility not like it would really hurt to write it all down most of it is in journals hidden from prying eyes and in prayer letters I will continue contemplation and maybe I will do it published of not it would be healthy I suppose hummmm sounds as though I am trying to talk myself into this, time will tell.

blogging life

I have promised myself I would try to blog more often about life so this is my feeble attempt we will see how long it lasts. Ok I am in selfish mode today I am frustrated that I cannot join a gym like the Rec or curves (curves is having a special and caters to fibro) I had hope to go to the Tri but it will not work due to the independent nature of the thing. Dr nixed that said I needed a trainer or supervision I suppose I could just do it anyway but with my luck I would hurt myself further.

The veggie garden is in thanks to a little extra help and barrowed tools. We have planted heirloom, grape, roma tomatoes I um.. went a little tomato crazy this year. We also planted red and gold sweet peppers, red and green cabbage, cucumbers, green and yellow zucchini, butternut squash, basil, fennel, edible flowers and green beans I should try to post a picture for fun.

I finally gave in and posted a request on free cycle for a bunch of needs garden tools regular tools there is only so much that can be done with a hammer and screwdriver also trying to find a collapsible wheelchair for mom hope I get a few hits it would make life easier.

I went to see the neighbors kitten’s today they were way cute I am in love but must resist must resist must reeeeesist; actually we will not be adopting any kittens until nature takes its course in our rapidly aging kitties. The dog thing is another issue we really miss having a dog not sure if we should go there or not. I think of the expense the need for two fence sides to finish the yard and I say no way! But then, I look at how mom is when friends bring their dog for a visit or I pet sit she is in absolute bliss so the emotional benefits for her may out way the financial and physical inconveniences.

Shana surprised us the other day while Spenny was mowing (yeah Spen) she gifted us with irises so I was totally exited she has blessed us so much and is responsible for most the perennials in our flower beds. It’s so much fun to play in the garden something about getting dirt under your nails and smelling the soil and flowers it’s the walking after that’s the literal pain in the boot~ay.

This morning about 5 am as I was being pawed by the four legged male in my bed (hehe) the fragrance of fresh roses and lavender wafted through my bedroom window it was absolutely wonderful even though I had no desire to be awake after only a couple hours sleep. Anyway, I realized that I subconsciously planted almost all the herbs in the flower bed behind my room along with two fragrant rose bushes. So we have under my window sill two rose bushes two varieties of lavender, two varieties of thyme, three sages and beautiful but not so fragrant Coriopsis and a Japanese iris.

in order to relieve myself of further suffering from the nagging of four legged critters who think the world revolves around them I went to open the back door for the little varmints. When i did I rubbed up against the jasmine plant in the kitchen wow… if only the gardenias would cooperate and bloom again I would be in sure ecstasy lol. Plants and kitty’s in spite my protests are very good medicine.

We took mom to the Dr today trying new meds to help with anxiety she has been having problems sleeping since the Rec closed for cleaning hopefully she will go back next week and that should help a lot also trying to talk her into going to the therapist to help with the PTSD she so needs to deal with this so do I but she has better insurance lol.

We are still waiting to hear from the court I pray we get a trial I still have not read the final papers from the opposing counsel there is really no need it is all in the hands of God and the Judge so nothing I read can change anything other then frustrate me so why bother.

We have a huge to do list which includes finishing the documentation of losses in the garage, picking up my things in storage and dumping what we no longer need. We need to finish the spread sheets and organize them if we go to trial, we need a task force to help with our property which is currently a jungle, have to wash windows here look into equity loans again re-due a video update for the not so top secret project, see the credit counselor again and oh all this should be done asap and this is just the beginning of the list.

Such a boring uneventful life I lead what will I do with ALL my spare time? lol

Dad

21 years ago today my dad died. I still think of him every day I miss his corny humor the silly way he danced around the house his laugh and the smile lines around his blue eyes. Although I rarely see my uncles when I do its hard to look them in the eyes they look so much like him, in the eyes....

Everyone says you eventually get over losing those you love ~ they are either people who have little understanding of love or have never felt loss from the death of someone close to them I admit the grief changes with time but the spot they filled in your life is noticeably gone.

Jane died in May too I still think of her every day she and dad have a good gig I need to remember that. Grief is a strange thing I am confident that I will see them again but I hate missing them. I want to call Jane when I see cute cuddly critters or e mail her belly laughing stories or just call and chat about everything and nothing. I want to ask dad tons of historical family questions about his life in the mountains in a two room cabin I want to hear his voice I want him to argue theology with me get mad when I refuse to use KJV and tell me to act like a lady when I do something he thinks is not lady like LOL.

I want dad to tell me what to do with everything in the chaos but most of all I just want to see him hug him tell him I love him ~ I know he knows but i wish i could tell him. I wish he were here but I'm glad he is there.....