21 years ago today my dad died. I still think of him every day I miss his corny humor the silly way he danced around the house his laugh and the smile lines around his blue eyes. Although I rarely see my uncles when I do its hard to look them in the eyes they look so much like him, in the eyes....
Everyone says you eventually get over losing those you love ~ they are either people who have little understanding of love or have never felt loss from the death of someone close to them I admit the grief changes with time but the spot they filled in your life is noticeably gone.
Jane died in May too I still think of her every day she and dad have a good gig I need to remember that. Grief is a strange thing I am confident that I will see them again but I hate missing them. I want to call Jane when I see cute cuddly critters or e mail her belly laughing stories or just call and chat about everything and nothing. I want to ask dad tons of historical family questions about his life in the mountains in a two room cabin I want to hear his voice I want him to argue theology with me get mad when I refuse to use KJV and tell me to act like a lady when I do something he thinks is not lady like LOL.
I want dad to tell me what to do with everything in the chaos but most of all I just want to see him hug him tell him I love him ~ I know he knows but i wish i could tell him. I wish he were here but I'm glad he is there.....
An in-depth exploration into the chasm of the mind and spirit of a slightly broken creature known as vir. An event destined to take place on the eve of 40 when life supposedly begins? let the experiment commence...
Jesus for presedent
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The danger is that the soul should persuade itself that it is not hungry. It can only persuade itself of this by lying. - Simone Weil
3 comments:
Big grief never really goes away. We learn to cope with it and we make workarounds but it doesn't ever go away until Heaven and it will all be over! Maybe that's one reason God allows us to feel that grief, so we long for our real home.
Ann,
I agree ~ what a beautiful way of looking at it.
Sorry I didn't get to see you on Sunday hope you found a good home for the wee one.....
Come hang out soon.
Vir
I like what Ann said but then Jesus taught us to pray "ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN"... so I am just thinkin' outloud here... devil's advocate maybe... ;-) that phrase "ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN"... wouldn't that stand to say that since there is NO grief in heaven, there is no grief on earth? Or rather that there SHOULD be no grief on earth? Now, before you decide how to lynch or hang me, bear with me, again I am just thinkin' outloud and am NOT saying that what I am saying is 100% true... I am sorting thru it and asking myself the same ?'s...
My grandma died this past Sat. morning. I am not sure that she is a Christian (though I prayed over her and her room etc. 2 weeks prior.) So, the grief I am feeling is that if she is not a christian, she is def. suffering in hell. B/c, yes, I do believe in hell. If there is a heaven, there is a hell. Those who do not have JC in their life go to hell. So, I am telling gma it is okay and she needs to go and not suffer anymore... but if she is not a christian, she is suffering MORE than she ever did on this earth! So, afterwards, I think, did I just lie to her?? Who knows? I still have unrest about the situation and I pray she is with JC but am not sure at this pt.
But, we are to live ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. Most of us do not really think about each individual sentence in the prayer that JC taught us to pray. Some of us can recite it, but do we really know what it means, do we really take it for ALL it is worth? JC said we either believe the ENTIRE bible or we do not. He rather we would be HOT or COLD NOT LUKEWARM. So, we pray "THY KINGDOM COME, THY WILL BE DONE... ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN." We are actually praying His Kingdom come on earth. What is His Kingdom like? Well, whatever it is like, when we say that prayer, we are saying bring that kingdom to this earth. Why doesn't it happen all the time? I am not claiming to have all the answers, just throwing out ideas here...
I am sorry for all the losses in your life though Vir. I am not trying to diminish them, just trying to figure out answers to questions I have burning in my heart at times. I know there is an ache in our hearts when loved ones die, and I am sure that it does not just "go away" or whatever else people try to tell us to make us feel better. You are in my thoughts and prayers Vir.
I hope all is well, and wondering what is going on with you/mom/house etc. I haven't gotten an update in eons, but I am sure you are crazy busy. I hope to talk soon!
XOXOX,
EM :-) <><
P.S. I may take MEW at VCC this fall!!
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