Drunkard's Prayer

After many conversations ending with “you need to blog” I am, well sorta? I find myself unmotivated by physical and emotional pain that traps me in a season of winter unending, so we will see how long this lasts.

Once again I am in awe of the love in my life the “little” blessings so huge (to me) and to numerous to count flowing into my life…..

Looking at who I am, or maybe who I have become I find no deserving nature in me, yet love pours over me like a flood. Not just the gifts and sacrifice given when life has sucked me up and spit me out and I have nothing left and feel know one could possibly care (a blatant lie btw) but the sweet friendships and love I come so far from deserving that embraces me daily overwhelms me.

The tunes of OTR sooth my soul and speak to my heart the and although I casually know the authors they will probably never know that our hearts are entangled with the same questions and sentiments about life love and the ultimate relationship that binds closer then brothers.

My sweet Kara and Kimmy bless me endlessly Drunkard’s Prayer sits close by along with countless others it should be easier to remember the blessings, but even with the reminders I fail horribly in my despair and grief.

This forum doesn’t contain enough room for gratitude my wonderful cartoonist, the stone gunman, my personal gardeners, the not so top secret project team. My soapmaker/bakers who touch me with their servant hood and sweetness. The surprise answers to prayer that come in the mail with love flowing out so rich I cannot even grasp it all

Yet I sit angry beyond comprehension at the injustice the world throws toward us all, favoring the almighty dollar and power to decency. There is nothing good in my but my beloved because I know my secret desire... I want to rip the heart out of evil and banish it forever.

Thus my ridiculous obsession with fantasy adventure I suppose…..;)