Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Five days and counting......

Five business days left to see a miracle?

Not very productive in the mist of the count down to ????

Mom is not well every day we have fought going to the hospital - she needs meds I just want her off the evil drug that turns her inside out every time we run out and cant get it for her.

I just remembered all the spread sheets I was supposed to have in to the powers that be before next week. Not only are they about 40 hrs not finished I feel trapped and unable to make rational decisions right now. Actually my memory and concentration are so bad it hard to get anything done.

Still having nightmares – something about being at the hearing I was crying hysterically fell down sobbing and passed out. Oh what fun! Emotions are a crazy thing actually not far from thinking I have finely stepped off the path of all rationality. How do people in war torn countries with REAL problems survive?

Don"t get me wrong our problems are real and more serious then most people know or care to know. I just can’t imagine... We are so spoiled by our American culture!

Trying not to feel abandoned trying not to be pissed at the well meaning people who think loosing everything is a great way to "start over" and are orgasmic that my mom is living in town even though the bills are pilling up and this is killing us.

What a joy I am today huh?

Dear friends coming to help out for which we are so incredibly grateful. We are finely going to get the jungle mowed after about 5 + weeks, then another friend is coming to call lawyers with me -- hopefully we will find help this is horrible!

A friend yesterday asked for the best and worst case scenario to try to help me rationally think things out - it didn’t work I cried for hrs then woke up crying today. Bring on the little men with white jacket and don’t forget a nose wiper - my hands will be tied behind my back! ha ha

Ok, overly sarcastic and procrastinating the inevitable... have to stop writing and start making phone calls. I really hate this!

1 comment:

vir said...

Victor! hey good to hear from you. thank you for your encouragement and offer to help...

its really hard to think I am carrying myself well in this situation i think because there are so many stoic people in my life I convince myself that if they were in my shoes they would have it all together unlike me.

in reality we never know how a situation will effect us. I just hope we can move on with this thing with or without a lawyer and have peace in our lives.

hummmm I'm wondering should i be the one offering to help you clean the apartment since every time you come to town and clean it, it mysteriously gets dirty again and you have to come back lol :)