Dark Night of the Soul

This night has been the longest so far, moving at an unnaturally slow pace my heart cannot find the peace that it longs for, it is there quiet unassuming so close it brushes against me but for some reason I cannot touch it.

Only Seventeen days left, we still have no answers caught up in red tape and one of society's greatest sins - not returning phone calls. The thing is if someone called and said sorry can’t help or we don't know or can we get back to you at our convenience that would be cool, that would be respectful, that would ooze integrity instead we are stuck, not knowing which way to turn what to do what not to do.

If something does not happen in the next day or two, we have no choice but to start packing, we probably should have done this already, I have just been trying to spare my mom but now that seems in vein. The thought of calling the media comes to mind, but then I think of sensationalism and find myself uncomfortable with that but it may be our only course of action?

As I think about were we can go its overwhelming, who could or would take us in, what would we do about accessibility for my mom, who would take in or care for our 21 year old dog and the kitties. My mom cannot even stay temporarily at a nursing home because of insurance issues or we would at least have 21 days of grace after Aug 14.

The only things I do know for sure to do is pray and praise God for life and a wonderful mom and good friends. I think a lot about Job, who lost everything and mourned, covered in ashes. It dawns on me that although this was most likely a cultural as well as spiritual act that is really all there was for him to mourn and grieve in the ashes of everything earthly that was lost and to cry out to God to bring comfort.

I was talking to a friend about a really faithful guy I met a couple of years ago, a short time after that meeting his wife was diagnosed with cancer, she died last summer. His blog is filled with faith trust and peace, its not that they did not struggle or that they did not have there moments of utter despair but they had and he still has a supernatural understanding of the eternal that is hard to grasp when going through difficult seasons of life. The archives are worth reading.  http://www.livejournal.com/~palmerlp/                  ok, guess I will try to go sleep again.......