The wedding was beautiful, Christi was breathtaking and so were the bridesmaids Eric was handsome, I loved seeing the look on his face when he caught his first glimpse of Christi as her father walked her down the isle. His eyes were as big as saucers his mouth dropped - not sure if he remembered to breathe for a minute :) It was like he was thinking WOW I get to marry her, it was nice to see there love for one another and for God. I see couples like them and think hey maybe love is real and not an illusion? Ok, I believe in love but the boy girl I love you enough to die for you or follow you to the ends of the earth thing is just too much for me to believe in sometimes. I know it exists for some just not me well at least not for a long time anyway and I doubt it ever will. The music was incredibly beautiful too many talented people all in all a great evening it went perfectly, I am so thankful God brought them together.
Stopped at Borders on the way home a gift certificate burning a hole in my pocket so I bought myself a CD (Reel Big Fish) and a book (By Terry Goodkind) I have been waiting to come out in paperback for what seems like forever, it was NEVER at the library, RATS!
Tried to keep the focus on the wedding but my mind and conversations drifted a few times to mold hell, when I finally arrived back home I walked through the door and my mom said hi, we have mail from " the court", Not a how are you, Not how was the wedding, Not did you have a nice night? – But, read this letter Now, see what we have to deal with Now, what are we going to do Now etc! I just started crying, hell I'm still crying I just don't know how I am supposed to deal I feel so damn alone in all this! I am so jealous of people who struggle with petty little problems what to do on a Sat night or I wonder if he/she likes me….Gosh I am so far from where I want to be with Jesus right now, I rally hate it I hate the loneliness the frustration not knowing what to do or not to do I pray we have a breakthrough soon, less then four weeks everything seems to be coming hard all at once and I fall crumbled beneath it with my hands lifted up saying please hold on to me tighter.
An in-depth exploration into the chasm of the mind and spirit of a slightly broken creature known as vir. An event destined to take place on the eve of 40 when life supposedly begins? let the experiment commence...
Jesus for presedent
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Me @ 9
About Me
- vir
- Oxford, Ohio, United States
- Seeker of Truth, Aroma Engineer, Occasionally Bare Blog Aquarium Swimmer.
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July
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FAV TUNES
The danger is that the soul should persuade itself that it is not hungry. It can only persuade itself of this by lying. - Simone Weil
3 comments:
With a name like Goodkind he could be mean as a snake and still sell books. :)
Tell the other Veritas people thanks, I think this is a good thing. I know Nathanael was as he is with EVERYTHING, Christian or secular, it's "ho-hum". Unless it's funny (as in cartoon or silly web page or Dave Barry writing or David Letterman TV) he's just sorta "there". He also likes classical music and the Blue Man Group and writing, writing, writing. But he so seldom SHARES this...I mean, he does it for his own pleasure...so sometimes I have to drag it out of him. He doesn't like the spotlight though he's been in it several times, even so far as being a local celebrity for a day, and his reaction to being on the news on 3 different stations was "ho hum" and "it's good"...is this just a teenage thing? I mean he seriously does NOT need company to be happy. He's pretty content being by himself. He's always entertained himself. Unlike Micah who needs a companion.
So anyway, the meeting was fun. During the songs Nathanael didn't want an instrument; he played his fingers- I mean, his complicated "click" rhythm. At the end he knocked his head on the door going out and said afterwards, "well THAT sucks" so I hope they didn't feel bad about him hitting his head. Um, the reaction Nathanael gave was probably the MOST reaction one will ever get. Of COURSE he says things are always "BORING" (I mean, we just talked about people gouging out eyes...) but I carefully watched for reaction, and I think he responded better to this than anything so far. PLEASE continue to pray. So he may never get in the youthie-groupie groove and he's a loner and likes solitude and big space and thinking and being in Canada with no other human being around him...that kind of person can commune with God just as much as a talkie-singie-youthie-groupie-huggy-touchie person, right? Thanks for inviting and we'll probably be back. Kim lives near us and I guess gives the one guy a ride every week, so even if I can't go hopefully he can (though he'll say "nah" if you ask him to go). Does the one guy see anything? or is he 100% visually impaired? It looked like he could see a little out of his one eye. Cool group and not at all peppy and singsongy (2 things I thought would be turnoffs).
The "gouging out eyes" comment was Nathanael's- WE TALKED ABOUT MUCH MORE THAN GOUGING OUT EYES. He asked me later who were the Ammonites, etc. So need to do some anthropology/archaeology research.
Hey Terry Goodkind rocks, he is one of my fav fantasy writers
Glad you had a nice time at veritas! Sorry I had to rescue JD... About TJ, he has been blind sense he was 6 MO old he will be going on to law school when he finishes up next year at Miami. he is a great guy recently he had surgery and now has two glass eyes which has been great for him :) Kim lives here in Oxford and goes to Miami she picks up TJ every week while he is at home for the summer.
Things are always different every week our hope is to give people and opportunity to participate or not according to there comfort level, our modo used to be come and experience Christianity as far away or as close up as is comfortable for you - or something like that :) They are a great group of people they are creative inventive and smart, I thought it might appeal to Nathanael hope you can all come back.
We really should try to get together and catch up?
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