Ramblings of a Procrastinator

Spent today NOT calling the hospital wanted too so bad she was supposed to have a biopsy today hope it went well, hope she doesn't feel abandoned also wish she had a phone in her room. The nurses don't like it when people call cause of the ICU and bureaucracy thing. Just prayed a lot and trusted God all we can ever do, but it helps to hear her voice and to see her.

Made a very small dent today in business chaos, hopefully I will do better tomorrow I have really let things get behind, all I can do is keep plugging away.. went up town to the music festival for about an hour it was pretty good but I was too tiered to really enjoy it. Talked to Jen on the phone and was silly with Hannah taught her a fav song written by the talented pre teen band the Millroses it's a nose picking song, the Milroses (SP?) would be proud, Jen regrets handing HB the phone LOL ! ;)

Received an E mail tonight from one of my dad's brothers, he seems like a good man but I really don't know him - he likes to send forwards sense we connected at my aunt's funeral. The E mail was a forward from a cousin not sure which one - there are tons of them and I have only seen a couple of them out side my fathers oldest brothers children (that's a mouthful:) in the last 19 years.

The forward contained a picture of my great aunt, and another young woman - haven't a clue who she is probably one of the cousins, second cousin? There is definitely a family resemblance. My great aunt is the last real family link we have, my grandmother's sister, my dad's brothers have not ever really been a part of our lives which has tryed to tare me up inside for years, but it is out of my control and too much to worry about at this point in my life.

One of the uncles called my mom a couple of years ago then sent a Christmas card - we were in shock he called again a few months later to hit us up to buy my dad's mandolin the only thing out side of God and his family my father treasured. Needless to say my uncle is not its new owner, we could never bare to part with it it means too much to us. We have not heard from him since, I am not saying the uncles are bad people, I just don't know them and think its strange that families become disconnected, maybe they feel we rejected or disconnected from them, who knows...?

Anyway, the picture is like gold to me, more meaningful then they probably realize since I am so family and historically oriented. I cried when I opened it, actually thankful I could open it most of the e mail my uncle sends is illegible due to computer conflicts of some sort. My great aunt looked beautiful and so much like the picture of my grandmother I have (only have one) they could have been twins,she must be close to 90 years old by now.

My aunt who died recently was so sweet she would call my mom all the time, they would reminisce about old times and she would tell story's of my great aunt and how tough she is. I really admire her spunk, and never thought I would hear about her again, I have not seen her since I was about 7 years old. My mom has called her a few times throughout the years but her number was lost in mold hell, I don't even know her last name or her maiden name either.

Maybe one day I will see her again and annoy her with tons of my silly questions about my grandparents, my father, and about growing up in the mountains of coal mining country. Every time I have traveled through Jellico it has been late night, they used to have pictures of the coal minors in the Arby's restaurant/gas station I was convinced my grandfather was in one of the group shots. They are gone now, the attendant said they may have been donated to the library, would be fun to track down info and see if I was right and connect with my roots a little...